There are few things in the world that I disdain more than breaking a commitment. It goes against everything I believe in and everything I want to be. Yet, I've begun to wonder if my-promise keeping has become a source of pride for me. Everyone knows you shouldn't make promises that you can't keep, and most would agree that it's a virtue to keep your word, even when it's difficult.

Lately however, I've made more commitments than I can reasonably keep. I've been overburdened to the point where I'm not really enjoying life anymore- and I don't just mean that I haven't had time for fun activities- I mean that I can't seem to appreciate rain or flowers or people. Life is blending into one big obligation, a list of things that I have to get done. My priorities have been based on what is urgent instead of what's important. I tell myself that I should at least try fulfill my word, but my attempts leave me feeling the guilt of a half done job because my efforts are spread to thin.

I obviously should have said no to some of these things in the first place, but now that I'm here, what is the right thing to do? Is it okay to try to explain my mistake and drop an obligation or two? As untrustworthy as a such a move seems, it's at least more honest than continuing to deliver everyone half done jobs that wear me down and produce little benefit.

Or am I just being a wimp? Maybe I just need to pull myself together, get a little more organized, and try a little harder. It seems so wrong to back down after people are counting on me.

I've been told by several people lately that I'm too busy, too stressed, too overwhelmed. My friends seem anxious to remind me that I shouldn't have put so much on my plate, but I could have guessed that one myself. I don’t' need to be reminded what's wrong with me, I need a solution.