This Saturday I am going to visit Schreiner University. I'm really excited! Then, on the 22nd it will HPU, and in February we will visit Le Tourneau.
Amidst all my elan however , I've realized a horrifying fact: Two years and two months from today, I will be twenty.
Twenty seems anciently old to me. After all, even if I live to the healthy age of 80, at 20, 1/4 of life will already be gone! Count in the other 1/4 you spend dying, and some smaller fraction for a midlife crisis, and I have less than half of my life to live!
I can't believe that I spent 1/4 of my life growing up. What a waste of time! Why couldn’t I have matured in six months or two years, and spent the rest of my life living?
This is almost devastating. I feel like my life is already gone and I haven't done anything! (My mom is quick to point out that I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to have done besides grow up, but that's really beside the point.) It's a terrible thing to have lived 18 years and realize that you never realized you were living, and that someday you aren't going to live, and that you have to start taking advantage of living right now.
I haven't done anything amazing like skydiving or hitch-hiking through Europe, or scuba diving, and I'm actually kind of afraid to, because what if in the process of living I accidently stop living?
I feel really old.
1 comment:
Hmm. :smile:
I think growing up is quite a business in itself.
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